My eHarmony review is coming very soon…
Should I Try Online Dating?
When I first decided to try online dating, I selected a dating site (eHarmony) and created an online profile.
My online experience went pretty well. Soon I “met” a great guy who seemed to fit what I was looking for. Plus, he was cute and a doctor to boot! We had a lot in common and the conversations flowed naturally. Eventually we established a regular “chat time.”
But then something happened that most people run into in the dating world, whether online or in person—rejection.
He just quit responding, and he wasn’t around during our chat times. He basically disappeared. I happened to know one of his friends, who told me he had been having personal issues. The friend didn’t say it outright, but I could tell—he was still getting over a break-up.
The rejection hurt. But in the end I realized my cute doctor wasn’t emotionally ready to date. He shouldn’t have started an online profile just yet.
Maybe you are wondering if you are ready to try online dating. There are similarities to in real life dating, but there are also extra things to consider. Here are 4 questions to ask yourself to see if you are ready to give online dating a shot.
1. Are you ready to put yourself out there—online?
If you’ve gone through a recent break-up or there is something else in your life you need to focus on, then dating in the general sense shouldn’t be in your radar yet. Even online dating.
You may think, well, online dating is more casual and doesn’t require any emotional involvement. It’s simply not true. These are real people you are talking to, and you are a real person too! Putting yourself out there, whether in real life or online, should be when you are emotionally ready to give and receive.
Also ask yourself—what are you willing to tell others about yourself? Because you’ll need to write about yourself in your online profile, and you’ll need to talk about yourself when you chat with others. If you aren’t ready to be open and honest, then maybe you aren’t ready yet.
2. Are you ready for the “dating” scene—at warp speed?
When you sign up for an online profile, everything will happen a lot faster than in real life. Because of sheer numbers and the convenience of sending virtual messages, you’ll be “meeting” multiple people, and sending and receiving multiple messages.
That means multiple successes and multiple “failures” all within a few weeks or even days. Can you handle that?
3. Do you know what you are looking for—in a potential mate?
Do you want a friend or a romance? Do you want someone who is serious or funny, or quiet or outgoing? If you aren’t sure, you aren’t ready for online dating yet. It would be like jumping in the ocean without any knowledge of its currents and no skills for getting out. You could get swept up before you know it.
Take online personality tests, talk to your friends, analyze your past relationships, and figure out what qualities you need in a significant other. They could change over time, but think about it. Deciding you want someone with good life goals is definitely a better choice than just going for a random person who is interested in you, but may not have much to offer.
4. Are you willing to meet an “online friend”—in real life?
If this idea seems too weird to you, then you may not be ready for online dating. Really, online dating is actually just “online meeting and getting to know each other.” Eventually you’ll need to see each other face to face and figure out if things jive in person. It’s normal to feel nervous about it, but if you are OK with the idea, then maybe you’re ready to give it a shot!